Monday, December 27, 2010

Watching The Muppets

GEORGE: I dated Barrymore
KERMIT: You dated Ethel Barrymore?
GEORGE: No, Lionel. Ethel was busy that night.

The Muppets are so silly but make everything better.

KERMIT: Ralph's poem tonight is a tour de force, which is a kind of 'Toot Your Own Horn'. Now let's bring him on with a great big hand... *great big foam hand crosses the stage*


And later:

SAMTHEVULTURE: so what do I do here, Ralph?
RALPH: You just play the part of the bird. I mean, it's not written for a Vulture, but you'll do just fine.
SAMTHEVULTURE: and this is...cultural?
RALPH: sure, it's light opera, gilbert and sullivan.
*plays "willow, tit willow" from the Mikado*

ADDIT:


KERMIT: STADLER! Don't give me that Hogwash!
*enter George with a pail*
GEORGE: what was that?
KERMIT: I said don't give me that Hogwash.
GEORGE: Oh, bc I was just going to wash the hogs, but if you don't want the hogs washed I won't wash the hogs!

On Titanic - the ship that sunk

I was reminded by a recent viewing on the ABC to post of the last time I last watched a re-run of the old ship-ahooy-tragedy that is this epic filmic experience.


Jack is a know-all bastard. A bastard who just has to know best... better. The general expert on life, in general. Who (rather like bloggers) always has an opinion about what to do in any situation.


And of course you're going to believe him - you're a young lady (not you, necessarily, but someone else perhaps) who is caught in an oppressive, autocratic and socio-economic relationship of pure convenience.


Contemplating suicide? Get back from that ledge, pretty lady and have unprotected sex in the backseat of a car with me, a boho American who will teach you about Art.  And did I mention sex.  Because everybody wants syphilis.


How did I get chained to a railing below deck in third-class? Never mind that now. Why not use that there axe, pretty lady full of pent up rage - I mean, I can't use hands to paint if I'm drowned now, can I?


Wait, did someone say there are there not enough lifeboats on this unsinkable ship? The irony is killing, isn't it? Watch me find a floating bit of chippendale. There's some - I know so much I could probably even tell you what century it's from.


Now, the ship's going down pretty fast, and vertically! But never fear, I am fully up on the principles of aqua dynamics: just take a deep breath and swim really fast - oh, and don't let go of my hand, yeah? Don't let... 


Though he'd had no more education than a street's walk through Montmartre with a pencil and paper (and, really, how many of us have done that?) I just love how convincing he is with his "do you trust me" line.


"Sure I do, Jack. Show me your pastel sketches and sweet, sweet lovin' again, won't you?" 


Of course, his street-wise-can-do-know-how attitude turned out to be rather useful in almost every situation, but that's plausible bc he loves Rose. And, no matter the flailing of logic far behind it, love conquers all in Hollywood - even GCSEs.